As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.”
She removes all her clothing and asks, “Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?”
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, “Here, iron this!”.
Tags: chauvinistic joke, joke make me feel like a woman, Joke of the day - Make me feel like a woman, Make me feel like a woman joke
Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age.
Christopher Morley (1890 – 1957)
Tags: Christopher Morley about happiness, Christopher Morley great quotes, Christopher Morley quotations, Christopher Morley quote, Christopher Morley said
I needed more than just a kiss goodnight
Had to go get something out my system I
ignored the warnings, bit the fruit
She might have tasted good
But man she was my kryptonite
Shoulda known she was trouble from the start
I, knew she’d broken hearts I,
thought I’d take that chance
Danced with the she devil in the pale moonlight
Alarm bells rang, but I loved the drama
In a dark place but I loved the karma sutra
Shoulda closed that door
But I kept going back for more
She’s electric, she’s the current running through my veins
She’s a siren, hearing voices that I can’t explain
Now I should be thinking it over
Instead I’m calling her over
Now she’s here and she won’t go quietly
I Should be thinking it over
Instead I’m calling her over
Now she’s here but she won’t go quietly
I needed more than just a cheap thrill ride
See I needed something that ran deep inside
Ignored the warnings, bit the fruit
She might have tasted good
But man she was my kryptonite
Shoulda known it wouldn’t last for a year I,
knew it’d all end it tears I,
cracked, she was mind addictive, never felt scripted
Upredicatable, tied up, but no strings attatched
Left scratch marks on my back
Her cold eyes got me excited and I can’t hide the truth
She’s electric, she’s the current running through my veins
(I just can’t kick the habit x2)
She’s a siren, hearing voices that I can’t explain
(I just can’t kick the habit)
Now I should be thinking it over
Instead I’m calling her over
Now she’s here and she won’t go quietly
I should be thinking it over
Instead I’m calling her over
Now she’s here and she won’t go quietly
Can’t see the end of this or who survives
It’s just another case of do or die
Can’t see the end of this or who survives
It’s just another case, another case, another case
another case, another case ..
She’s electric, she’s the current running through my veins
(I just can’t kick the habit x2)
She’s a siren, hearing voices that I can’t explain
(I just can’t kick the habit)
Now I, should be thinking it over
Instead I’m calling anekatips.com her over
Now she’s here and she won’t go quietly
I should be thinking it over
Instead I’m calling her over
Now she’s here and she won’t go quietly
Can’t see the end of this or who survives
It’s just another case of do or die
Can’t see the end of this or who survives
It’s just another case of do or die
Can’t see the end of this or who survives
It’s just another case of do or die
Tags: Example - Won't Go Quietly lyrics, Example hits lyrics, Example music lyrics, Won't Go Quietly lyrics
A man sat down at a bar and told the bartender, “I bet you three hundred dollars that I can piss into the cup all the way over there on the other side of the bar and not miss a single drop.”
The bartender said, “There is no way you can do that. Sure, I’ll bet you three hundred dollars.”
The man then begins to undo his pants and begins pissing. He starts pissing all over the bar, spraying on the bottles and the bartender, not making a single drop in the cup.
The bartender starts smiling and laughing and says, “That’s it, you owe me three hundred dollars.”
The man then gets up and walks over to the pool table and starts laughing and shaking hands with the men standing there. He walks back to bar, sits down and starts laughing at the bartender and hands him the money.
The bartender asks, “Why are you laughing? You just lost the bet.”
The man said, “I’m laughing because I bet those guys over there one thousand dollars that I could piss all over you and your bar and you would still be laughing when I was done.”
Tags: Bartender and 300 dollars, bartender joke, clean bartender joke, Joke of the day - Bartender and 300 dollars
Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.
Mahatma Gandhi (1869 – 1948)
Tags: Mahatma Gandhi, Mahatma Gandhi quotes, Quotation of the day - Mahatma Gandhi
The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession.
“Of course, my son,” said the priest.
“Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her.”
“That’s a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess,” said the priest.
“It’s worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favors,” continued the old man.
“Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk – you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly,” said the priest.
“Thanks, Father,” said the old man. “That’s a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?”
“Of course, my son,” said the priest.
The old man asked, “Do I need to tell her that the war is over?”
Tags: The priest and the old man, The priest and the old man joke
